Sometimes I Grumble.

Juggling being a wife and mom, while homeschooling, running a home business, and running a household is no easy feat. Many days nearing bed time I feel like I haven't had one minute of time for filling my own personal needs. Sounds selfish perhaps, but who ever said I wasn't, I'm human just like the rest-- we are all selfish in some way. We are all in tune with a need here and there that is going unmet. I believe that the key to not becoming overwhelmed, burned out, and bitter, is thankfulness. A dear friend reminded me of this recently when I was going through the valley of unthankfulness. What would we do without friends and family who straighten us out when we need that encouraging nudge in the right direction? Thank you Hannah, for the good words spoken. I was reminded of what I already know, but had ceased to focus on: that this phase of life is just a season. The days of seeming overload will pass all too quickly, and we will look back and remember the good things in life that are worth remembering. Mingled in with the business of every day duties, those moments of growth are beautiful and unique each in its own.

While in the middle of the valley of unthankfulness I often forget and focus on what isn't instead of what is. I notice the voids in my life and I bring them into center focus, as if there was a giant magnifying glass to point out the errors and flaws of the life going on around me, Nothing measures up, nothing is good enough. Why is my life so frustrating right now? Complain, complain, complain!

Why is it that we choose to walk through the valley of unthankfulness? I don't really know why. If I knew how I got there, I would completely avoid going there ever again. It seems that somehow I get caught in the middle of this valley before I've even noticed that I was headed there. I'd like someone to blame it on, but something tells me that I've probably made choices in my thought life which have brought me to the attitude of unthankfulness. In one way, I hate this valley, in another I look forward to the purging of selfishness which usually follows along in the process. When pulling out of the valley, one often may see that God has worked in yet a new way as we realize that He is meeting our needs in ways that we cannot see. Maturity comes mainly through developing patience, and patience mostly comes (maybe it only comes) by walking through hardship; experiencing things, situations, people, who stretch us out of our comfort zone.

One day I will be patient. One day I will be mature. Until then, I will day by day accept with a thankful heart my noisy, less-than-perfect family, my less than perfect skin, my forgetful memory, people in my life who are dysfunctional, things in my household that break at the worst moments, cars that have flat tires, rain when I needed sunshine, things that just drive me crazy. I know that these things are the stuff I asked for when I prayed for patience. Challenges that arise are really blessings in disguise. At the end of the day (or rather all through the day) the thing we need to remember, is to say “Thank YOU” with heart and intent; be saturated with an attitude of thankfulness.